South America

I spent the day in Brasilia, Brazil. I walked around town speaking Spanish with the locals. Now I haven't spoken Spanish in quite a few years, and I'd be the first to admit that my accent is off and my vocabulary is a bit rusty, but no one, and I mean no one I met spoke Spanish correctly. They were worse off than I was. I mean, I could almost figure out what they were saying most of the tme, but it was as if they spoke a different language or something.

So, my wife Dhroto, who doesn't speak Spanish at all, nor does she speak English, did not make it all the way to South America. I will keep an eye out for her for the rest of my life, but I doubt that I'll see her again. Who knows what place she was thinking of when she ate the Beef Jerky with teleportation properties. I only have a little bit left. I hope it's enough to get home. I was kidnapped by three foul smelling men. I am currently tied up in a basement that also houses barrels and barrels of alcohol. I'm posting this with a pencil I've pulled out of my shirt pocket with my teeth. Later, I'm going to complain that I have to go to the bathroom, and when they let me go, I'll eat the Beef Jerky with teleprotation properties then. It's a good thing they can't read English or they would figure out my plan by checking out my blog. Oh, I hear them coming. (It's difficult to type with your teeth and a pencil, I keep slobering over their keyboard.)