Europe

So I appeared in Europe after eating the Beef Jerky with Teleportation properties and I spent the day walking arund a tiny walled town in Germany. People haven't been so friendly since I am missing a arm and my butt... plus, my pet frozen wooley mammoth named Charlie has a hard time fitting through the small crooked streets. I have a German phrasebook, and I decided to try out the lingo on a hefty looking German milkmaid (she was actually carrying two jugs of milk.) I said something that was supposed to mean, "This is a lovley town" but instead it must of meant "Please slap me in the face." She slapped hard too, ther five fingers (and I'm so happy that none of them are ringed) left a mark across my cheek.

I tried to visit the countryside, but Charlie wouldn't fit through the city gate, so I tried to climb the wall and I lost my footing. I looked for it for three hours before I decided to give up and eat the next Beef Jerky. So tomorrow, I'm goign to Africa with one arm, no but, no feet, and a pet frozen wooley mammoth named Charile.