Where's the Poop?
Today is weird. I feel different, I feel indifferent. I don't care, but I do. I don't want to go out, but I don't want to stay here. I want to do nothing, but when I do, I'm bored. It's weird. I'm weird. Maybe I'm not me. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not even me. Maybe I've been kidnapped by aliens or at least men with ugly faces and yellow eyes... hehe... I almost typed feces... I don't think I've ever seen a beautiful feces, not that I go around looking for them, but speaking of such, we sell at Barnes and Noble a bok called "Where's the Poop?" It's a lift-the-flap book and each page is a different family of animals asking the baby, yep you guessed it, "What's the square root of pie?" and the babie replies... "Umm... 1.7724538509o?" and the parents reply. "No you silly(bear, zebra, lion, tiger, whatever animal is on that page) It's 1.77245385091. You have to go to bed without supper tonight, and every night until you get it right." and then the baby says, "Aww, geez." The drawings are simple and the story repeats itself on every page. I wonder if the people who wrote it are even people, because anyone who isn't a machine would get bored of the repetion. Maybe a machine wrote it. Maybe it was Al Gore. Isn't it weird how maybe without the space means possible and may be with the space means almost the same thing, and without without the space means "does not contain" and with out with the space is just mispelled? Okay, so it's not weird, it's just the mood I am in, or maybe I'm not in a mood, but have changed to this permanitly, and my spelling has gone out the window... I don't know why it went out the window, the door was unlocked, it could have just used that, but no, the door isn't good enough, it has to use the window. "I don't wanna use the door," it says, "I want to be a hollywood stuntman," it says. I told it that I haven't seen any stunts in hollywood that have ben performed by spelling. "So, "it says," you never got paid for your writing before and you are trying to do that." I couldn't say anything after that except, "okay, but if you breakthe window, you have to pay for it." So it did, and it did. What was I talking about? I don't remember. Oh well.... I guess I'll just stop writing now, but now right now, because I just realized that the word right means the opposite of left, correct, and immedately. How do we keep these things straight? and left means opposite of right and something not taken, and something is a compound word that is silly because if we left the space there, we would not change the meaning at all. I think compound words are a complex conspiracy to improve one's vocabulary without learning any new words. Because, now, something, some, and thing can be counted together as three words, whereas without compound words, we would have two. Whereas is another one, and so is another. Our language is full of them. I know what else it is full of, but I can't seem to find it at the moment. Where's the Poop?"
posted by Jonathan Dow at 2:00 AM
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